“If you see the whole picture than little parts can be adjusted, but if you don’t see the whole picture, one little part can create chaos.”- Radhanath Swami
My Gurudev told this instructive story of Mahatma Gandhi at one marriage ceremony. Once upon a time Gandhiji had a serious quarrel with his wife; they both became extremely emotional and it came to the point when Mahatma Gandhi shouted at his wife, “Get out of my house, Get out from here.” She cried and she left the house.
Mahatma Gandhi was the inspiration of Martin Luther King and so many others who were promoters of nonviolent change within society, and here he is fighting with his wife! But that is the nature of marriage. If Mahatma Gandhi, who was much more experienced and empowered than any of us, couldn’t keep peace in his house, don’t think that you will be able to do it.
Sometime later he came out of his house, and he saw his wife sitting on the side. He said, “What are you doing here? You are supposed to go somewhere else.” She looked up and said, “I have nowhere else to go.” Gandhiji smiled and said, “Alright, just forget it, let us go inside,” and that was the end of the quarrel.
My Gurudev explained this as the solution for any problem in marriage – these two words ‘forget it’. Whatever the problems that you have – based on circumstances, based on two different egos – they are not important. When two egos are living close to each other, occasional disagreements and conflicts are but natural. What is important is the sacred principle of why we are together: to help each other become pure, to help each other practise yoga, the yoga of life. The higher principle is to help each other in loving God, to help each other be instruments of God‘s love in this world, and to love and protect each other for that purpose. If that’s why we are married, then nothing else is important.
Most divorces these days are based on things that are really not important. But if you don’t focus on a higher principle less important things become very important – at least apparently. If you see the whole picture than little parts can be adjusted, but if you don’t see the whole picture, one little part can create chaos.